On separate days this week, Ash and I have both received some mail from VicRoads. Just as Charlie Bucket desperately searched for his golden ticket, we crossed our fingers in hope that at least one of them would be a simple ‘Licence Renewal’ bill and not the dreaded car rego. Nope. Both letters loudly declared our fortune in receiving our ‘Certificate of Registration’, $625 x 2, due in three weeks please. And, as luck would have it, another VicRoads letter did arrive, yes Ash your prayers have been answered, your licence actually does need renewing too. Throw in a water bill, child care fees and growing mouths to feed and it’s pretty easy to see how people get overwhelmed.
We have the money, and if we didn’t, we have an incredible support team around us that would probably sell a kidney just so we wouldn’t have to struggle. This is not about crying poor, we are very lucky.
The thing is though, we are all raised with the understanding that money is private business, not to be talked about or shared openly. I get that, it’s personal. But it’s the personal things, those things that we don’t feel comfortable talking about, that often cause us the most internal grief. We feel alone. We feel ashamed. We feel like we must be the only ones not keeping up. But I figure that if we, normal, middle class, two kids and a mortgage types are feeling the pinch, then so are a lot of people.
Back when we were DINKs (Double Income No Kids) we lived a pretty financially privileged life, we had disposable income at our fingertips and spent it however we liked. Now that we are SICKs (Single Income Costly Kids) I’m left wondering what the heck we spent all that cash on! Yes there was some saving, but jeepers there must have been a lot of spending too!
We all work hard for our money and we want to spend it however we see fit, deservedly so. My priorities and indulgences could well be completely different to yours, but one thing I think most of us have in common is that it’s not much fun having to say ‘I can’t afford it’, particularly if it’s not something you’re accustomed to. Well, my friends, I’m getting accustomed to it.
I’m at a time in my life where I cannot do paid work as much as I once did, nor would I want to, I have important work to do at home. Working part time is both a necessity and a choice for me right now. There are many people though, who don’t have the luxury of choice. Who work full time and still find it a stretch to make ends meet, or want to work more but can’t find the employment. Single people paying mortgages on their own. Families trying to keep a business running. Couples paying the excruciating cost of IVF because they cannot start a family without it. Lots and lots of people are struggling.
I guess the reason I am writing this, is that I hope you know you are not alone. And it’d be really, really nice to normalise the reply ‘We can’t afford it’ because the reality is, lots of us can’t (despite what the pictures on social media might have you believe). And really, I don’t think it does our kids any harm at all to hear those words too.
Forget about Keeping up with the Kardashians and just try Keeping up with the Podgy Hodgys because we don’t keep up with much ha ha!
My oversharing knows no limits.
Eliza xx
podgy hodgy 