Like trying to catch the wind in my hand, I have this thought that keeps whirling around in my head. And though it appears to have taken up residence in my brain, I can’t seem to hold it still long enough to take a good a look at it. Kids, work, distractions and all that.

So I’ll just start writing and see where I end up.

I’ve lost my opinions.

I mean, I know they’re still in there. The seeds of opinions anyway, but I’ve lost the desire to nurture them. To water and fertilise those opinions through research, and discussion, through the sharing of them.

Man, when I was 17 I had more opinions than I could hold in my body – so I didn’t, I spouted them everywhere.

That woman who had an affair? Evil. Selfish. Mustn’t love her kids.

The man who didn’t work? Not trying hard enough. Too picky.

I mean, I could dissect that stuff with one swing of my samurai sword. Hi-ya!

But then, thankfully, I went out into the big wide world and pretty quickly realised I knew nothing. About anything.

The privilege of my naivety hit me like a big smack in the face, and once those pupils of experience dilated there was no going back. My view of the world changed, and it continues to change.

Instead of the binary all or nothing, one or the other perspective I held before, I started to see life not in terms of black or white, but rather every shade of grey. I realised that for every situation a person found themselves in, there was a history that led to that point. For every perspective, there was another side. Every decision, a back story. And once you start to think this way, with more compassion and less judgement, the fire in an opinion just kind of dies out.

For the most part, people are good and they’re trying their best.

Live and let live.

But although I feel this way, that we should support others and withhold judgement, I also feel that we might’ve gone too far down this path. To the point where we’re (I’m) too scared to hold a point of view. To the point where we’re afraid to tell people the facts for fear of offending them. Or worse still, shaming them.

But the truth is important isn’t it?

If I have the facts, the best information, I can do with it what I want. I can take it or leave it, but at least I will be making an informed decision.

Too much screen use in young children can have a negative impact on them. Roger that, I can place limits on telly time or I can shove an iPad in my kids face while they eat their weetbix, either way at least I know the best information. (I choose no portable screens but my kids probably watch too much telly.)

Babies should move from a bottle to a cup by 12 months because it’s better for their teeth. Cool, that’s good to know. I’ll try to get the baby off the bottle by the time he’s at school, whoops. But I respect the information.

Breastmilk is the best source of nutrition for babies. Yep, totally understand. Breast is best, until it’s not. This is a fact that does not offend me even though I chose to stop breastfeeding earlier than necessary. You weigh up your options, and if you have only one option you go with it! Still respect the information.

Natural births are better than c-sections. Of course they are, until, again, they’re not. I’ve got no problem with that fact. I’ve had one of each and they both seemed fairly unnatural to me. And both kids are as rambunctiously nuts as each other.

Moderate exercise for 30 minutes a day is very good for your health. The weekly pit stop at KFC for a regular chips and can of PepsiMax is, unfortunately, not good for your health. Bugger.

Information is important to me. I use information to make decisions and form my opinions, but I understand that my opinions are not facts. They are my interpretation of the facts, and that does not amount to truth. It’s not even a ‘version of the truth’ – a term that horrifies me.

But sharing an opinion is still a good thing to do. The only way we learn and change is through open, robust discussion. A willingness to hear how other people interpret the facts. To gain a perspective we might not have thought of before. To see a shade of grey amongst the black and white. That only comes from the sharing of opinions and ideas.

I guess what I’m coming to with all of this, is that we seem to have come to a time where we’re sensitive to information. We want it delivered delicately. Dressed up sweetly.

And as for opinions, I think they’ve gotten a bad wrap. People seem to think there are only two choices: have no opinion (at least publicly) or have the ONLY opinion.

But there is a third choice: Use information to make an opinion then let it be moulded by the thoughts and ideas of others.

Don’t let the art of respectful, robust discussion die.

I’m off to wonder if any of this has made any sense.

Eliza xx